Let me talk to a human please
|Published
“I had wasted a whole morning communicating with uncommunicative electronic machines and got precisely nowhere.” Picture: Courtney Africa/African News Agency(ANA)
by David Biggs
We are supposedly living in an age of super-fast electronic communication. I can send a message to my daughter in Canada, halfway round the world, and receive a reply from her within five minutes. Amazing!
On the other hand, communication has become so technical that is is often impossible to get any sense out of a message from somebody on the other side of town.
I was asked by my medical aid society, electronically, to fill in a form confirming that I was still alive, and send it back, electronically, to them.
I had the form printed, filled it in and took it to the local police state for an official stamp. I then sent it, electronically again, to the address they gave me.
Within minutes I received a notice to say the “server” could not deliver the document as it did not recognise the address.
When I tried to telephone the medical aid people, I was connected to a machine which reeled off a number of options. “If you are a member, press 1. If you wish to become a member, press 2, if you are a medical practitioner, press 3…” and so on.
I pressed 1. Immediately, the recorded message began repeating itself.
I pressed 1 again. The recording started again.
Eventually I had pressed 1 seven times, only to be returned to the recording each time.
I tried sending an email asking for help and was referred to the original address which the “server” had rejected.
I tried repeatedly to contact addresses that might help, but reached dead ends each time.
It was only when I telephoned a related company and asked somebody (vocally, not electronically) for the name of a human who might possibly help me, that I began getting results.
I spoke to a human who actually listened and connected me to another human who was able to deal with the whole problem.
I had wasted a whole morning communicating with uncommunicative electronic machines and got precisely nowhere. Five minutes of old-fashioned mouth-to-ear speaking solved the problem.
So don’t try to sell me smart, new “apps” for speedy communication. I do not want to talk to a machine.
An old-fashioned human works far more efficiently. And if you disagree, you’re welcome to press 1.
Last Laugh
A newcomer went into the pub in a small, rural village and ordered a drink, then sat watching the news on TV.
Soon a picture of Donald Trump flashed on the screen and the newcomer muttered: “Now there’s a real pig.”
Immediately one of the other customers punched him hard, knocking off his bar stool.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled as he scrambled to his feet, “I didn’t realise you were Trump supporters.”
“We’re not,” said his assailant,” we’re pig farmers.”
* "Tavern of the Seas" is a daily column written in the Cape Argus by David Biggs. Biggs can be contacted at dbiggs@glolink.co.za
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.